mindlessly watching youtube/ in a lonely situation makes me depressed

last night i came back to airbnb (lonely situation), been running around all day so I sat down and decided to watch some youtube before I do some studying.

before i started watching i was already feeling lonely, and Ethan ignoring me text probably added to it (that’s another problem to talk about…). I felt more and more lonely and depressed as I mindlessly watch more. pushing off shower and everything. and when Mom called me, everyone in the family is having Mcdonald, it would’ve been a perfect timing to talk to them. but I couldn’t, I was too depressed at that point.